So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize