my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he was CRYING into my vagina
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize