dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
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