the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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