It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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