I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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