You really coming over, don't trick.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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