apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize