this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize