Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
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