this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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