Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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