quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Oh god it's open bar.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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