I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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