I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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