You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize