Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
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it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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