I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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