Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize