i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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