please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
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she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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