ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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