I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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