he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize