She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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