Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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