ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
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Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
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Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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