Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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