so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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