I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize