I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize