Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize