It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize