Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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