Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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