My room smells like vodka and shame
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Houston, we have a blender
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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