Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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