Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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