You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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