Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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