Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Damn victory sex feels great
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize