I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize