Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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