I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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