Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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