Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize