you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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