we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize