You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
How external is "for external use only"?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize