when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
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By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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