I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize