I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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